Blog Archives
Terry Butcher on why ex-players don’t make good pundits
Not to kick a national treasure, but I’ve only just seen Terry Butcher’s preview of the Manchester United/Manchester City game. Apologies for the delay here, but obviously – like everybody else – I don’t read the Daily Mirror.
Some highlights…
“Manchester is certainly the place to be – this afternoon’s 160th derby is the most eagerly-awaited clash for decades – and the city’s very own Stone Roses sold out their reunion gigs for 2012 in an amazing 14 minutes.”
“I believe Roberto Mancini may replicate the sad stalemate of November 2010 when a game of football threatened to break out but never actually did.”
“With a two-point lead at the top of the table, Mancini will probably sacrifice his current attacking instincts by smothering the midfield and going for a draw.”
“Balotelli and Aguero will not start, as City won’t want to be as open as they were in the second half of the Community Shield, but United have the edge recently, having won the last four home derbies.”
“I think United’s forwards have too much class for the Blues and I hope that City’s wobbly defence does not become an Oasis in a sea of Red!”
Did you get paid for that Terry?
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Oliver Holt and the art of hypocrisy – featuring Fernando Torres
Apologies for the late reaction, but I’ve only just seen Oliver Holt’s Mirror column from Monday. For anybody else that missed it, Holt is moaning about the Manchester United fans’ reaction to Fernando Torres’ miss on Sunday.
‘But I still recoiled when I saw the picture on the back page of this paper on Monday morning.
It was a beautiful portrait of an ugly scene, a man kneeling in despair and a crowd taunting and baiting him.
Some of the supporters looked as if they were figures plucked from Goya’s Pinturas Negras.
Mouths agape, fingers pointing, hands gesticulating, faces contorted with dark joy at another man’s misery.’
‘Another man’s misery’? Okay, I think that’s taking it a little far but anyway. Holt’s general point is that he dislikes the schadenfraude that’s crept into the game, and compares a modern day football crowd to an X-Factor audience – that which derives more pleasure from failure than success.
Sorry, but don’t you work for a tabloid newspaper? I hate to break this to you Olly, but that ‘pointing and laughing’ mentality is what pays your salary, how many times have the tabloids gleefully exposed the downfall of a celebrity, athlete, or politician? You, the tabloids, bred that attitude and profited off it – save us the sanctimony.
‘It’s when comedians like Jason Manford get big laughs from encouraging fans to abuse players because they earn a lot of money.’
Yeah, because that’s the real enemy here, Jason Manford – not the media as a whole, who love nothing better than knocking a prominent, and well-paid, personality back down to their level.
It’s an argument without foundation, because football’s branding as ‘entertainment’ is what allows the profile of the game to be what is. Naturally, a crowd that behaves as an ‘audience’ is always going to be a by-product of that.
You can read Oliver Holt’s masterpiece here…
Daily Mirror lies brutally exposed on Chelsea TV
Odious Mirror hack and general lie-merchant Martin Lipton gets called on one of his ‘EXCLUSIVES!’ by Chelsea TV presenter Gigi Salmon.
Glorious doesn’t really cover it…
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Inconvenient truth derails Mirror transfer rumour effort.
It’s obviously a lot easier to point and laugh at a misguided prediction after the event has already happened, but when the object of the ridicule is The Daily Mirror that laughter seems strangely less cruel.
Having obviously run out of left-wing content to shove into their dirty little rag, the sports desk shoehorned a ‘speculative’ story about Blackpool’s Charlie Adam being bound for Blackburn – or in their own words:
‘Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce is ready to make a bid for Blackpool’s stylish Scot Charlie Adam – but he will have to pay £3 million for him. However Allardyce is still on his trail, armed with cash from the new Indian owners. And the Rovers chief may test the water with an offer shortly, although Ian Holloway’s club will be hard to budge.’
Ignoring the pre-schoolboy error of beginning a sentence with ‘and’, we’ll say that that’s probably not going to happen.
If you were to continue, you would also come across this next sentence towards the end of this otherwise stunning bit of journalism:
‘The Rivers (sic) chief wants a play-maker, a speedy winger and a striker as he tries to build on the remarkable start to the campaign his side has had despite their previous financial hardship.’
What is all that about? Rivers? Remarkable? Financial hardship? Probably best not to allow the sub-editors too much control…
‘Winter World Cup’ speculation from the Mirror
Given that it’s from the Daily Mirror, it’s obviously nonsense, but rumour has it that FIFA is considering shifting World Cup 2022 from June to January to alleviate the fear surrounding the high temperatures in Qatar over the summer months.
Given the worldwide scorn that has already greeted the decision to grant the World Cup to a country with no footballing history, this is probably just an attempt to stoke the fires of FIFA-hatred – more likely from their failure to find any evidence to back this claim up, and relying on the old gem of a ‘FIFA Insider’:
‘We have always held our tournaments in the summer months before but we must think about what is best for the players.’
It’s quite sweet and endearing how they’ve actually written the quote in the style of a generic FIFA drone – it actually sounds like something that Sepp Blatter might say.

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